You stare hurts so good

Sat, 20 Aug 2005 13:28:35 GMT

wooowza haven't been here in a while...i almost kind of miss it. oh well.

school starts on thursday...i think the whole highschool thing is slightly overrated...but at least it isn't windsor fucking knolls.
blaaah i actually really don't want to go back to school. I'm usually the dork going oh golly i can't wait until school starts...but now i'm all eh...i really didn't get to do a whole lot this summer..i was gone a lot. That kind of sucked...and like, everyone was grounded, OoOoOoOo well.

i cut my hair again...it's all puffy and spikey in the back it's neato..but my mom deleted my picture software because she thought IIII was posting "lewd" pictures online. hahaha riight. me...that's funny.

"you insignifi-CUNT little fuuuck, i always get my money you cock sucking BASTAAAARDOOO"

i <3 pappa joe. Yay for Boondock Saints...Crazy Irish guys killing off the russian and italian mob...definitely my kind of movie.

oh shit i saw Red Eye yesterday and Hooooly fuck. I want to do Cilian Murphey. If he was running like a crazy person at me waving a knife, i would tackle him...(take away the knife) and do him like no fucking tomorrow. jesus christ he's hot. He's so scary to look at...his eyes are intense...but once i'm looking at him i can't stop no matter how much i want to look away. I am captivated.

lalala amaaazing movie.

i miss my carolove. Live journal reminds me of her. Titanic and peachbuds. Sugar and spice...Robert and Keith...hahaha. Those were the good days...now she's buuusy with Nikita..that's cool. We need to make some fucking music videos darling!.

When they called for me
I was sitting at my desk
with a gun in my hand
wearin a bullet proof vest
singin my my my
how the time does fly
when you know you're gonna die
by the end of the night.

yes

Jaimezilla

Sun, 03 Apr 2005 03:50:15 GMT

SavvysDamnSkippy: |N_|E_|M_|O my anti drug

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 16:14:40 GMT

my b-day is on tuesday...can't fuhreakinG WAIT
I CANNOT WAIT UNTIL THE PAAAAARTAAAY
rebecca will be here:)

MFU...later bitches

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 02:31:43 GMT

You Belong in 1966

1966

If you scored...

1950 - 1959: You're fun loving, romantic, and more than a little innocent. See you at the drive in!

1960 - 1969: You are a free spirit with a huge heart. Love, peace, and happiness rule - oh, and drugs too.

1970 - 1979: Bold and brash, you take life by the horns. Whether you're partying or protesting, you give it your all!

1980 - 1989: Wild, over the top, and just a little bit cheesy. You're colorful at night - and successful during the day.

1990 - 1999: With you anything goes! You're grunge one day, ghetto fabulous the next. It's all good!

What Year Do You Belong In?

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 05:54:58 GMT

(x) gotten lost in your city
(x) saw a shooting star
(x) been to any other countries besides the united states
( ) had surgery
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas
( ) kissed a stranger
( ) hugged a stranger
(x) been in a fist fight
(x) been arrested
(x) had alcohol
(x)laughed and had coke come out of your nose (powder or liquid)
( ) made out in an elevator
(x) swore at your parents
(x) kicked a guy where it hurts
(x) been in love
(x) been close to love
( ) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving
( ) broken/fractured a bone
( )skinny-dipped
(x) skipped school
(x) flashed someone
(x) saw a therapist
(x) played spin the bottle
(x) gotten stitches
( )drank a gallon of milk within one hour
(x)bitten someone
( ) been to Niagara Falls
(x)gotten the chicken pox
(x)kissed a member of the opposite sex
(x)kissed a member of the same
( ) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
( ) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
(x) ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
( ) stole something from your job.
( ) gone on a blind date
(x)lied to a friend
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
( ) been to Europe
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) saw someone die
( ) been to Africa
( ) Driven over 400 miles in one day
(x) Been to Canada
( ) Been to Mexico
(x) Been on a plane
( ) Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) Thrown up in a bar
(x) Purposely set a part of myself on fire
( ) Eaten Sushi
(x) Gone snowboarding
(x) gone skiing
(x) Met someone in person from the internet
(x) Been moshing at a rock show
( ) Been to a moto cross show
( ) lost a child
( ) gone to college
( ) done hard drugs
(x) love someone or miss someone right now
(x) had a very embarrasing moment

HMM

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 18:28:37 GMT

Your Love Style is Storge

For you, love and friendship are almost the same thing

And your love tends to be the enduring, long lasting kind

(You've been known to still have connections with exes)

But sometimes your love is not the most passionate

Leap before you look, and you'll find that fire you crave

What's Your Love Style?

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 08:33:04 GMT

wowza it's been like...forever man:) well i have a girlfriend:):):) rebecca!!!
aw she's awesome.
i got expelled for dealing on school proporty...(sucks major ass)
my b-day is in like...9 days. woah!
party on the 8th...most likely.
hm...well things have been really shitty pretty much...except for rebecca.

MFU is on saturday. Fun fun. can't wait. i want to meet Jared:)!

silly stoners!

"Well the red ones help me fight
and the blue ones help me fall
and i think i'll blow my brains against the ceiling...
and as the fragments of my skull begin to fall...
fall on your toung like pixie dust just think happy thoughts
and we'll fly hooooome"

aww i heart headfirst for halos!

loves n'fuhreakin whore hugs

x_-Jaimzilla-_x

Fri, 22 Oct 2004 00:50:30 GMT

www.xanga.com/bleedingbeautyx

that's my xanga...I update there more than here, so check that if you wish.\

</3 jaime xxx

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 16:58:04 GMT

oook,,so I'm back.

uh, so after I said my thing, this kid said he wrote about gay marriage also, and I got happy, because I thought someone was supporting me, but then he's like, "the government could be dealing with bigger things than this, stupid, crazy, inethical, imoral, thing" and everyone was staring at me, because they thought I'de like punce on him..jaay..but they were looking at me, to see my reaction. I was a little mad, because of what he said about it, like, I don't care, if he's anti-gay marriage or whatever, but you don't have to be so disrespectful. Hm..so then mother freakin RODERICK, who i thought was open , and accepting, agreed with the other kid..hmm..oh well, I think I made a good point. anicelittle disgushion.

There was a dance. It sucked, as usuall. I'm usually all appy, until there's a slow song, then I kind of remember how lonely I am. hmm..I just need somebody.

kim was upset...she hasn't talked to me in forever.

Alexis was crying today at lunch? I don't know why.

xtina's b-day party is today, hm...I guess it'll be fun.

I want to go to leanna's party on saturday, but no one else does. They think it's stupid, and its a joke, but I don't think leanna really hates us...if she did, she wouldn't ahve invited us. I think *people* are trying a little to hard to be outsiders, to hard to be "punk" to hard to be anti-popularity. hmm...oh well...I don't care, I mgiht go if vanna does, she's the only one who doesn't think it's stupid. and...leanna's freakin rich...ha..jaaay I don't really care about that.

hmm

so I'm gonna go

loves and freakin whore hugs

</3 jaime xxx

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 16:57:03 GMT

ok..so I am EXTREMELY proud of myself. yeaterday, in LA...we had to write a paragraph on a hugley debated issue in our society, and have a debate...I wrote about gay marriage. This has been the oI've shared with my class.

a hugley debated argument in our society right now, i gay marriage. I am for gay marriage 100%. Marriage is about love, not gender, race, or sexuality. By outlawing gay marriage, there would be millions of homosexuals, who wouldn't be able to deticate themselves entirely to the one they love. This country is not supposed to be based on religion, but some people (like the president) say that gay marriage, is against "the sacret christian tradition." If you don't believe in gay marriage, then don't take part in one. I am completely for gay marriage.

mrs. glassmeyer really liked it. It might not have been the
best homosexuality speech, but it was pretty good....lalala

</3 jaime xxx

Wed, 08 Sep 2004 21:49:10 GMT

ok..so I haven't updated in a while..afraid to I guess...ha lame I know..but it's wierd. hmm..so I have guitar tonight...fun fun. I want a baaaand:(

so school is ok...class wise...the kids...typical...I wish me and all of my friends had been born in the same generation...it seems like all of my friends who are older, got to do so much fun stuff, and I just feel like I miss out on everything. Like me and courtney used to be so close..now she's doing her own thing, and that's cool, I understand, she's older. I'M NOT JEALOUS!!!!!!!
and like..aaron and me still hang out a lot...actually we spent all day on saturday together. We went to frederick. Hm. but carolyn is completely leaving me in the dark. completely. me and her, used to be seriously like sisters. I miss it. I said my first cuss word with her:) haha "ben has a hairy ass" hahaha. That was just me trying to be cool, even though I thought ass meant penis, and no...I wasn't looking at ben's penis...I was just trying to be impresive. actually I guess my first "bad word" was with xtina, because I used to say suck...when I was like 5 and 6, and she go and tell her mom, and I'de be like "I meant suck a bottle" haha. so I looove my friends my age to. We have a lot of good times...do a lot of fun things...lots of fun party's:) even if they are just little ones. You know..I bet if I tried to have a blowout, a big big party...only my close friends would come..ha. Unless I didn't say it was MY party...that's clever..I should try that:) ha...leanna comes rolling up with her pimp, and I run out and like..hump her..ha...jaaaaay:)

so like..the other day, I went into a massive state of depression, like massive, and I did bad stuff...I almost od'd. I'm not going to mention everything....but yea..you kind of get the picture.

so like...my friend talked to me about her parents the other day. It realy worries me...the things she tells me about them. Like..I'm worried, I don't know if she's being abused, I don't think she's been physically abused, but definitely emotionally, idk...maybe even sexually. But she wouldn't tell me that. I don't want her or her sister getting hurt...her parents are definitely getting divorced, I think that's best...I honestly don't think either of her parents are fit to be parents...but it's soooo not my place...it really isn't. I'm jsut worried is all...if they got hurtI WOULD kill myself..I really would...not being funny...

so yea...I'm really confused to be honest, on relationships and stuff. Being an 8th grade bi girl...doesn't help. I am not attractive...and I know that. their aren't a lot of people to pick from in 8th grade, boy or girl. I'm lnely..I really want to have what xtina and david used to have..that closness, that wholness. the other day tyler vanna david xtina and courtney came over. We were playing sexual truth or dare of course:) and xtina dared me to kiss tyler, and he's like "NO" and I'm just like...ok? because I wouldn't have minded. Then later on someone dared vanna to kiss him, and he's like all into it...and she said no because...she's gone all prude. So I felt really hurt..you know? that's really going to boost my confidence level...hmm...I just really need someone...to just...cuddle with...I want to FEEL loved.

I ahve homework major. I have to do fucking role sheets for l.a...so I guess this is the end...KIM I love you:) you really are a great person...I'm glad we're friends.

"movie tickets"

sut up porky get off the field*throws salami*

loves n freakin whore hugs

</3 jaime xxx

raaandome

Fri, 27 Aug 2004 00:28:00 GMT

party tomorrow...school started 4 days ago...sucks..talked to daivd today....no bf...no gf...friends with kim....and lynny...hairs in pigtailes...i miss aaron

Thu, 19 Aug 2004 06:52:10 GMT

ok..so the last few days have been fuuuun~!haha
so on...monday night I went over to carolyns because my parents went with greg to bowie to meet his roommate...so I went over and spent the night (the also included several phone calls from alexis). I basically hung out with james the whole time. WE watched my girl..I love that movie. Then carolyn went upstaires to go to the bathroom and..well...never came back:) so james put in an anime thing..yea. So after a while OI got bored with that and went upstaires, and there was carolyn..on the computer...hmm..so yea...I hung out wtih her for a while. She was on the phone with nikita though. I got on her comp, and krissy...alexis' sister, was online..and like..her and sam and shaina had this big thing with carolyn, so I IM'd her, and asked what exactly the problem was, and she comes off calling me dumbass and beachball, and all this stuff, and calling me and carolyn names and shit. Hmm..so then krissy made chat with sam and shaina and me, and like, they were jsut bashing me and carolyn the whole time.hm..whatever. so finally we got off, and went downstaires. We started watching the chris rock comedy special on hbo, but fell asleep. so when we woke up, and carolyn ate scones:) hahahaha. And watched the sixth sense...awesome movie. hm..so then basically...we just hung around for a while, and i was feeling kind of dizzy and lightheaded, and had a head ache, so I decided to go home. So when I got home, i started making plans with everyone to come over thjat night, so that night we had xtina courtney vanna alexis lark tyler david james sam(golleb) and mea:)! haha it was a fucking kick ass party. it was really fun. we jsut hung around outside on the trampoline, and played music, and watched beavis and bithead do chritstmas:) haha. so yea it was fun. Then stephanie ended up coming over but only for like..30 mins. so then me vanna lark alexis courtney stephanie and xtina allwent back to xtina's house, and slept there. so everyone except courtney and stephanie, were all hanging out in the bathroom downstaires?:) and stuff it was fun. mr. clark gave us wine coolers.. and we were all happy.:) so then we all went in the living room and dimmed the lights and started playing telephone:) haha..it was fun..."the sexy lesbian pets me like a kitty" haha..that was mine:)hmm..so then we played sexual truth or dare:) it was great..vanna wasn't in to much...but me and lark kissed:) and alexis and xtina kissed:) fuuun stuff:)
so..hmm..today me and xtina went to the mall..fun. yea..nothing else really happend today.

hmm

</3 jaime xxx

Mon, 16 Aug 2004 22:05:09 GMT

my schedual

a day-
science andrews
band
french costello
la glassmeyer

b day-
science andrews
gym wood
math durkin
la glassmeyer

c day-
science andrews
band
french costello
math durkin

d day-
science andrews
gym wood
math durkin
la glassmeyer

second semester I have thompson for american studies.

tell me if you have any classes with me.

Sat, 14 Aug 2004 04:12:56 GMT

scott was all: hey
WhoCares3003: hey?
scott was all: sup i saw your pic, you're freakin hot
scott was all: just kidding you're fucking sick as shit
scott was all: yuck
WhoCares3003: ha...nice
WhoCares3003: who the hell is this?
scott was all: `whats your phone number so aaron can call you
WhoCares3003: aaron?
scott was all: yeah
WhoCares3003: why? so he can call me fat ugly gothic chick again?
scott was all: pretty much
WhoCares3003: oh sounds wonderful
scott was all: he says hes got a razor right here
WhoCares3003: oh fun
scott was all: chea kilbosa
WhoCares3003: ?
scott was all: your finngers
scott was all: i saw you at the mall awhile ago
scott was all: with your eye makeup
scott was all: are you gothic?
WhoCares3003: gothic is jsut a steriotype
scott was all: yeah you arent illiterate
WhoCares3003: ok...? whatever
scott was all: so uh
scott was all: how much do you weigh?
WhoCares3003: uh...so yuo saw me at the mall?
scott was all: how tall are you
WhoCares3003: fuck that
scott was all: i wanna learn more about you
WhoCares3003: I'm 53
scott was all: 250
scott was all: ?
scott was all: 260?
scott was all: 261??!?!?
WhoCares3003: hm..well you seem very confident about oyurself now aren't you?
scott was all: well i can be im not fat, nor gothic
scott was all: and i dont cut myself:-):-)
WhoCares3003: hm.sucks for you
scott was all: sucks for me?
scott was all: I love life
scott was all: YES!
WhoCares3003: yea
scott was all: so nwhere can i see more pictures of you
scott was all: i wanna raise my self esteem
scott was all: i need to masturbate a bit, you know
WhoCares3003: oyu're a guy right?
scott was all: YESS
WhoCares3003: I'm guessing you're the homophobic type right?
scott was all: yes, homophobeic.
scott was all: homophobic
WhoCares3003: wow you really are a complete jackass
scott was all: can i come to your glow stick party?
scott was all: Well theres alot to make fun of.:-)
WhoCares3003: really?
WhoCares3003: like what else?
scott was all signed off at 11:08:19 PM.
scott was all signed on at 11:09:29 PM.
scott was all: sorry bout that
scott was all: computer died!
WhoCares3003: oh.what a shame
WhoCares3003: so what's oyur name?
scott was all: Scott
WhoCares3003: obviousy..and oyu know about my party...how?
scott was all: Your amazing livejounral, fatty!
scott was all: So you go to windsor knolls?
scott was all: or what
WhoCares3003: yea
scott was all: How come you cut yourself?
WhoCares3003: well...hmm...let me see...could it be because of jackasses lie you?
WhoCares3003: hm?
WhoCares3003: I wonder
scott was all: haha
scott was all: thats funny
scott was all: So you have no self esteem
WhoCares3003: not really..thanks to people like oyu
scott was all: maybe if you dropped eating so much, stayed out in the sun a bit, made some friends you woukld be decent.
scott was all: and have raised self esteem
WhoCares3003: um I have friends...
WhoCares3003: I ahve a lot of friends
scott was all: about 10?
scott was all: internet buddies dont count
scott was all: Narrow it down to 2
WhoCares3003: ha funny..but no
scott was all: Hah, okay.
scott was all: Lie to yourself.
scott was all: Gothic friends and fat people are cool8-)
WhoCares3003: why doin't you shut the fuck up?
scott was all: Or what, fatty
WhoCares3003: i don't ahve to answer to you....
scott was all: Haha you're threatening me like you can do something.
scott was all: You got nothing on me
WhoCares3003: uh no I'm not
WhoCares3003: sooo?
scott was all: Pick up the razor and slash your wrists.
scott was all: ::Sigh::
WhoCares3003: how old are oyu?
scott was all: 16
WhoCares3003: so are really that bored that you ahve to pick on a 13 year old?
scott was all: Well
scott was all: i just saw your picture, cause my brothers friend knows your website
scott was all: and screenname
WhoCares3003: who's your brother?
scott was all: Doesnt matter
WhoCares3003: well who's his friend?
scott was all: Deandra
WhoCares3003: buckheit?
scott was all: yup
WhoCares3003: how the hell would she know?
scott was all: Dont ask me, she was making fun of you alot
WhoCares3003: oh that's nice
scott was all: haha
scott was all: it was nice, nice and good.
WhoCares3003: I'm sure
WhoCares3003: what do yuo get off making fun of people or something?
scott was all: Only you
scott was all: I dont usually do this
scott was all: i just find it funny
WhoCares3003: oh..yes...ha
WhoCares3003: haha
scott was all: HAHAHA
scott was all: so how often do you cut yourself
WhoCares3003: is that any of your buisness?
scott was all: it is
WhoCares3003: and why is that>?
scott was all: because anything i think is my business is my business
scott was all: and you need to tell me cause i am superior over you.
WhoCares3003: people who mind their own buisness are more superior
scott was all: Haha, people that cut themselves have no say in the matter.
WhoCares3003: oh really?
scott was all: Yeah, and being gothic doesnt help either
WhoCares3003: ok..I'm not gothic
scott was all: Ha-ha
scott was all: You're punk, right
WhoCares3003: I am just me...gothic is a steriotype
WhoCares3003: no
scott was all: haha'
scott was all: okayyy
WhoCares3003: wow you're pretty imature for a 16 year old
scott was all: Your little livejournal thing basically describes a goth
scott was all: Immature?
scott was all: Haha.
WhoCares3003: yea immature
scott was all: And masture is cutting yourself right8-)
scott was all: Cause you cant put up with life.
scott was all: You're a "wimp"
scott was all: Mature*
WhoCares3003: I'm not saying I'm all wise one or something..I'm just saying you're being really immature for a 16 year old
WhoCares3003: yea ok..I'm a "wimp" whatever
scott was all: So if you're gonna cut yourself cut deep.
scott was all: :-P
WhoCares3003: I'll keep that in mind
scott was all: good
WhoCares3003: you must be really bored with yourself
scott was all: actually, im not.
WhoCares3003: you keep telling yourself that
scott was all: You keep telling yourself you arent fat, or gothic.
WhoCares3003: um I don't think I'm gothic
WhoCares3003: I never said I wasn't fat
scott was all: lol, of course you didnt you know you're fucking huge
WhoCares3003: I just don't like it when people go around pointing it out to em
scott was all: Well you obviously want attention
WhoCares3003: ?
WhoCares3003: why is that?
scott was all: Why else do you cut yourself
scott was all: for fun?
WhoCares3003: i cut myself for my own personal reasons that aren't any of your buisness
scott was all: haha one of those reasons is you dont get any attention from your "Friends" and or your family members
WhoCares3003: whatever
WhoCares3003: I get plenty of attention from my friends and family
scott was all: Keep telling yourself that.
WhoCares3003: wow..you never get tired of the same line do you?
scott was all: Not with someone who needs it pointed out to them constantly (you
WhoCares3003: who says I needed it pointed out aonstantly..I'm not mentally handicapped
WhoCares3003: you are such a pussy..are oyu afraid I'm going to hurt your little brother or something>?\
WhoCares3003: you won't even tell me hs name
scott was all: im on the phone with a friend
scott was all: sorry
scott was all: god knows you might eat him, fatty
WhoCares3003: ha..nice..real nice
WhoCares3003: that hurt so much..I'm going to go die now..whatever
WhoCares3003: fuck you
scott was all is away at 12:01:00 AM.

Sat, 14 Aug 2004 02:43:01 GMT

hey havn't updated in forever...lalala

haha nothing's up..at all...nothing..bored.

Uhh...I'm trying to invite kim varros to my glowstick party:) we need a change around here...she's really cool...ha.

so yea..uh...xtina and david broke up...james and hether broke up..I...don't have a bf o break up with....vanna doesn't wither..nor does lark....uh, ari might have cheated on alexis but they're still going out...uh...caseys the best thing since seedless watermelon:)

haha

so yea

</3 jaime xxx

Sun, 25 Jul 2004 20:46:38 GMT

ok..so I really don't have much time for a heart felt entry right now, because my aaron and james and xtina are coming over. It will be awesome. I went to the carnival last night with xtina and meet up with aaron. It was fun. Then xtina came back to my house, and I got a call from james. Not the happiest of calls. I will explain more later. But I was crying, and I cut again. I have to go see cathy in like a week. (cathy is my therapist) I don't really want to talk to her. Maybe I'll feel more like it then. Ohh well..

I must go, I'll write more later

</3 jaime xxx

Wed, 21 Jul 2004 17:15:07 GMT

so yesterday was really fun. Courtney had to leave early so I was just fermenting in the basement watching tv. And I get a call, and of course, it's carrie. She asks if I want to go to the carnival, and I'm like...I don't know, because I don't ahve any money, (true, but I didn't exactly want to hang out with carrie) and she's like, ohhh I have like 300 dollars, and I'm with casey. Well that perked me up a little:) casey, is soooo foyne:) but really, he is...yummy. Anyway, so I'm like my mom isn't home, and she's like, that's ok, just call her, we'll be there in like, 10 mins, so I run and get ready. I call xtina to see if she wants to go with us, and she says she can't. So then I call my mom and tell her that I'm going to the carnival with xtina, because I don't think she'd have let me go if she knew it was carrie and casey. So I get in casey's car...a blue oldsmobile:) and we're just chillin. We have to go to frederick to go to carries bank, along the way I get up to speed on everything that's been going on in their whole circle, about sams g/f brittany,carolyn's two-facedness, cathrines bitchyness, and just..everything. So same calls casey many times to talk about that very thing...and we end up having to pick sam up also. But we have time, so carrie offers to buy us ice cream at greenvalley. So we go there, and casey had these black fuzzy handcuffs, and handcuffed his hand to the wheel haha. carrie got an ice cream and I got a drink. So then we went to go pick sam up. Her hair smelled really good. haha. So then we drove over to urbana, and like, no one was there, we got out and walked around for like...a minute. so then we decided to go to the mall and hang out. We went to hot topic, spencers, and cvs. At cvs, sam was on the phone with I think shaina, and when she hung up, she's was like, I bet carolyna dn all of them are at pocket change right now, so her and carrie took off fast, I was behind them, because casey was like, look a this huge stick of bubblegum. ha. So then he caught up to me, adn I was speeding up and he held his arm out infront of me and was like, slow down. So I did, so I asked him what was going on between everyone. He explained it all, to much to write though. *takes bite of tuna sandwich* . so we get there and their not there. so we go to dollar store and carrie buys 7 freakin nerds ropes and like, 4 huge pixy stixs. insane. So then we go back to the carnival. I saw a lot of people I knew there. nikki was hanging out with a group of people, older, her sisters friends I suppose. but HOLY SHIT, Ethan freakin Baker was there. IN first grade, me and vanna and him were standing at the wall at recess because we got in trouble, and he looks at us, and says, Wanna see mr. freeze? and pulled down his pants. haha. I haven't seen him since 2nd grade. so I was like freaking out. And I saw a lot of high schoolers I knew, like the twins, Andrew and andy. Nikki's sisters,aaron, that whole group. So we were just walking around, and I see erica cox and pauline z? and as we're walking by I'm like, (to carrie) look it's the BOW HAIRED BITCH!because she was wearing a fucking bow in her hair. I hate that. Ohh well. So then I'm hanging ut with everyone, and daniel and addison walk by, and daniel does this thing, like, with his chest, like when your trying to be tough, and you kind of pop it out, or whatever. haha, yea, so I do it back, adn addison does that whole word cough, thing, you know, coughgothcough. haha. yea. So then cathrine runs up to the fence and we all jump. So I look over and there's carolyn, nikita, and brittany. so like, sam and carrie adn casey start walking away, and I walk with them. I felt rteally bad though, it felt like I was betraying carolyn.:( so we basically had to ignore them the whole tim, because sam was freaking out. Casey played this ring toss thing, adn won two knives they were realy cool too. So carolyn's group really wanted me to stay with them, like, drive me home, and hang out with them. But I couldn't because 1, casey's hot and 2, I couldn't just leave them. So then we went and droped carrie off at home, and then they came and droped me off. Casey had to go to sams and talk to hre mom. So when I came home I was bored again...hmm..and just started watching tv. I watched the episode of south park, where everyone's into david blaine.haha. so then my mom wanted to spend time with me or some shit like that, and asked if we could watch rose red together. I'm just like, fine. so We started watching it, and about 2 1/2 hours into it I get a call from james, because I ahd called him earlier, and he's like, do you still like shane? I'm like yea. And he's like, ok, umm, shane wants to know what flavord condome I like, and I don't think he was kidding either. I was just like eww, I have to go. And hung up. So like, half hour later, I get a call, this is like 1:30 in the morning. And it's sabrina mashall, and mea.

basically sabrina try's to apologize for the entry comment on my journal, And their just talking to me. Asking me questions, and their all talking about starving themselves and stuff. So I'm like, why are guys so obsessed with being skinny, you're already in good shape. And sabrina's like, because I'm fat, and I'm like hahaha, right, you're saying that to the wrong person. and she's like what? i'm so fat, I'm fatter than you. I'm just like..hmm...because that was a little mean. Yea...ohh well. So then their just talkng and they say they'll call me today, so yea...

hmm

boredome sucks doesn't it?

</3 jaime xxx

Thu, 15 Jul 2004 06:39:21 GMT

holy shit holy shit holy shit.....

I meet the best guy tonight. MIKE. he's so sensitive, and a musician. he's like me...we have so much in common, and he lives in pa. I loooove him. seriously...I dooooo!!!!!!!!!

Fri, 02 Jul 2004 19:15:47 GMT

so yea...everyone is leaving for a week...xtina and courtney in florida...carolyn and james at the beach...lark at the beach,...is it like..national fun/sun/beach/florida/swimming...get the hell away from jaime week or something?

Mon, 28 Jun 2004 04:20:40 GMT

this movie I watched....about how girls become lesbians. like...if you're molested or sexually abused by a male family member...you're more likely to turn out to be a lesbian.

well...

I don't know who knows..I don't know if anyone knows..but...when I was little greg...my brother used to molest me...like..he would come into my room at night and say he was looking for a book or something if ben asked where he was going...I'm not going to mention exactly what he did to me...but he did it from the time i was 6 until I was 8. Then he got a girlfriend...daniel. When they broke up..I was I think 8 or 9, and he started trying it again..by that time I knew it was wrong, and I wouldn't let him. I don't even think he remembers everything...but we've never mentioned it to eachother. I still don't want too. For those of you who frequent me, my house, and my family, DO NOT mention this to greg...never...I just wanted to say it...because I've been thinking about it lately...and I wanted to...just...let it go....

I hate me...that was the start..kind of...of my whole thing...cutting.

I still hate me...

should I die?

I feel dirty

Thu, 24 Jun 2004 02:07:41 GMT

this song made me want to write..I don't know why though.
Freshman by Verve Pipe. it's a good song.
I saw ryan sewel at my therapists office on tuesday...wierd...and I saw andrew foote at my guitar lesson today...wierder.
I have a crush on andrew in 5th grade..then he moved. Ryan sewel like..sexually harrassed me and lark in 5th grade, then he got expelled or something. yeah..
I wrote courtney a long e-mail today, explaining myself kind of...for my bitchyness, and jealousy and stuff.
I finished my book. I read about 140 pages to finish it today, adn like 130 the otherday. It was good, but the whole book was like..340 pages. it was "Misery" by Stephen King...one of my favorite authors...I love reading:) I'm such a dork...haHA!

I like this song too...the rasmus..in my life...it's good. and I like this song...thrice...stare at the sun.

I'm learning Kashmir by led zepplin on my guitar...yeah...I should get a band together or something...haha right.

So I went to go see another movie on monday night...me and xtina and lark..we wanted to see odgeball...but we got there late and had to see mean girls...again. We invited aaron and sam..but neither could go...aaron owes me a movie:)

Wed, 23 Jun 2004 00:04:58 GMT

I heart these lyrics!!!!

"Strawberry Gashes"

Turn her over
A candle is lit, I see through her
Blow it out and save all her ashes for me

Curse me sold her
The poison that runs it's course through her
Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over

Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over

Called her over
and asked her if she was improving
She said "feels fine" it's wonderful wonderful here

Hex me told her
I dreamt of a devil that knew her
Pale white skin with strawberry gashes all over all over

Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over

I lay quiet
waiting for her voice to say
"Some things you lose and some things you just give away"

Scold me failed her
If only I'd held on tighter to her
Pale white skin that twisted and withered away from me away from me

Watch me lose her
It's almost like losing myself
Give her my soul
and let them take somebody else get away from me

Watch me fault her
You're living like a disaster
She said kill me faster
with strawberry gashes all over all over me

Tue, 22 Jun 2004 21:55:00 GMT

actually a surprising good picture of me..hmm...nevermind

Sun, 20 Jun 2004 04:06:13 GMT

today I went to carolyn's. But first I went to best buy and other sgizit w/ greg and ben. It was actually kinda fun...hmm...
so then I went to carolyn's because she was having old family friends over. We watched thirteen on her computer.
then carrie came over, and I was pissed off, because...idk...her very pressence just bugs me...
wierd..
hmm, so we went outside after a while, and nikita was there at her aunts house, and she had this wierd hat on...she was trying to skateboard:) so we walked over there, and she kind of followed us down the road a bit, then we had to turn around. I went back to the reeses to get my stuff, and then carolyn adn carrie walked me home...sorry I didn't put in a lot of detail, but my head hurts,,and my back hurts, and I want to go to bed.

kill_me>